Swiftpaw's Chance: Chapter 6
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When Dogscar wakes up, it’s the middle of the night. He flails mentally for a moment, searching for what happened, and remembers: Cloudtail.
The white warrior isn’t in Dogscar’s nest anymore, though. He’s shining like a beacon in Brightpaw’s nest, curled around her, his head on her shoulders, his tail wrapped loosely around her. Dogscar glares at their sleeping forms and twists in his nest so he can't see them anymore. Naturally Cloudtail went back to Brightpaw the second he was able.
Not that Dogscar cares. Let Cloudtail do what he wants, Dogscar doesn’t need him and he doesn’t want him, so.
He puts his head down again and closes his eyes.
“Psst.”
One shredded ear pricks up.
“ Psst. Dogscar!”
Oh, StarClan.
He opens his eyes. Sorrelkit is standing in front of him, tucked close to the ground. Her eyes are bright and eager in the dark.
“Hi!” she whispers loudly. “I’m sneaking in to see you ‘cause Mama said Goldenflower was worried about you, which is silly because you look fine to me! But I came to look anyway to make sure, so here I am!”
“You snuck out of the nursery?” Dogscar hisses. “Sorrelkit, you can’t do that.”
She tips her head. “But I can. I just did, silly.”
“You have to go back, or you’ll get in trouble.”
Sorrelkit just flicks her tail, unbothered. “Mama never stays mad at me for long. And you’re my friend! I don’t mind getting in trouble!”
And Dogscar....well, what can he say to that? Except Sorrelkit is watching him still, jaws parted in a big kit-grin, proud of her little escapade and waiting for him to say something.
“Oh,” he says finally. “Well.”
“Goldenflower said you looked scared earlier!” Sorrelkit says. She’s entirely too chipper about it. “Like maybe you had a nightmare! I have nightmares sometimes, like this one where a really big bird came to the camp and it carried me away! It was real scary.”
“I...I’m sure,” Dogscar says with a little glance around. Everyone else is still asleep.
“And when I woke up my Mama cuddled me really hard until I felt better! And you’re bigger than me but I thought I could try and help anyway!”
Sorrelkit doesn’t even wait for a response, just dives forward to curl up against Dogscar’s belly. He’s too shocked to stop her and then...well.
He doesn’t exactly have an excuse for not pushing her out of the nest immediately.
“Is it working?” Sorrelkit whispers after a minute. She looks up at him, her amber eyes huge and round.
Dogscar swallows. “Uh, sure. Sure it’s working.”
“Good!” Sorrelkit says, too loudly. Behind her, Cinderpelt makes a soft sound and shifts in her sleep.
Sorrelkit flattens her ears a little. “Oops,” she whispers. “Sorry.”
“Go to sleep,” Dogscar tells her, and he lays down, closes his eyes. Tries not to think about the tiny body curled next to him.
Sorrelkit lets out a tiny breath that he assumes means she’s drifting off, and then, a moment later as he’s doing the same, a small paw pokes him in the cheek. “Psst. Dogscar.”
“What,” he mumbles.
“What do you get nightmares about?”
Oh, no . He is not having this conversation with a kit. “Go to sleep, Sorrelkit.”
“Because my mama, when we get nightmares, she helps us be better by telling us it won’t happen. Like with my hawk dream! She said there are lots of warriors and guards in the camp all the time and that they would all see the hawk if it came down, and if it got me they would jump on it and save me!” Sorrelkit explains.”So if I know what you dream about I can maybe help you, too!”
Dogscar opens one eye. Sorrelkit’s pleading face is a whisker from his own. “Go to sleep.”
“Come on, please? Just tell me a little?” Sorrelkit asks. “Is it the dogs?”
Dogscar sighs and relents. “Yeah, it’s the dogs. Fighting them.”
Sorrelkit flicks an ear back. “That must’ve been really scary.”
“Yeah,” Dogscar says quietly. “It was.”
“But it won’t happen again,” Sorrelkit tells him. “Because you know where the dogs are, right? So you just have to stay away from there. Or only go if you’ve got lotsa warriors. And the dogs can’t get you hear, because you’ve got Cloudtail and Brightpaw and Cinderpelt and all the warriors to protect you! And me!”
“Thanks, Sorrelkit,” Dogscar murmurs. “That helps.”
“See!” she says, breaking into a grin. “I told you it would help!”
“Yeah.” Dogscar closes his eyes, pushes his muzzle into his paws. “Now, go to sleep maybe, huh?”
Sorrelkit makes a sleepy sound in response and puts her chin on Dogscar’s leg. They fall asleep like that in the dark, and for once Dogscar sleeps without dreaming.
-0-0-0-
“Sorrelkit! Oh, StarClan, Sorrelkit !”
The panicked yowl brings Dogscar hurtling out of the medicine den. After Sorrelkit was found in the den that morning, she was given a scolding but apparently not punished otherwise. For his part, Dogscar had been in the medicine den, sometimes talking with Cinderpelt and mostly just being put to work sorting herbs for a bit while avoiding questions about the disastrous training exercise the day before.
But now, Sorrelkit was being carried into camp, her limp body— her limp body —swinging from Fireheart’s jaws. He pushes past Dogscar, nearly running, and skids into the medicine den. Dogscar is right on his heels.
“She ate deathberries,” Fireheart is saying. “We scraped as much out of her mouth as we could, but she might-“
“Yarrow,” Cinderpelt says, unceremoniously pressing some small leaves into Sorrelkit’s mouth.
Sorrelkit whimpers and Cinderpelt murmurs to her, please just eat the herbs, sweetheart, they’ll make you better , and, eyes still closed, Sorrelkit does.
She’s barely swallowed them when she twists, her body convulsing, and vomits into the dirt.
After an agonizing minute of Sorrelkit coughing up the contents of her stomach, her head falls back down and her breathing starts to even out.
“She should be alright now,” Cinderpelt says. “If you brought her here straight away there’s a good chance none of the berries had the opportunity to take effect.”
“And if some did?” Fireheart asks.
“We’d probably know. Deathberries aren’t exactly a peaceful way to go,” Cinderpelt says.
Fireheart nods and then Willowpelt is pushing her way into the nursery along with Brackenfur.
“Is she okay?” Willowpelt asks. “Sorrelkit, is she— Sorrelkit !”
“She’s fine, just sleeping. She needs rest,” Cinderpelt says quickly, stepping in front of Willowpelt at her distraught cry. “She’ll stay in the medicine den for observation until she wakes up, okay? I promise I’ve done everything I can, and I think she’ll be just fine.”
Willowpelt gives her a tight nod and pushes forward, gently pushing her muzzle into Sorrelkit’s fur.
Dogscar turns away. It feels a little invasive to watch as Willowpelt trembles slightly, whispering in her daughter’s ear.
“This is all my fault,” Brackenfur says. “I wasn’t with Darkstripe when I was supposed to be. If I had, he would never have-“
“Darkstripe did this?” Willowpelt asks, her voice ice. She’s frozen completely over Sorrelkit, who’s now curled gently into an empty nest. “Darkstripe. My son.”
“Graystripe saw him do it.”
Dogscar steps forward, head low. “I’ll kill him.”
Cinderpelt blocks him with her shoulder. “No, you will not .”
Willowpelt pushes through all of them without another word. Dogscar catches a glimpse of her face, and she is completely unrecognizable from the gentle, protective queen he knew. Her eyes are cold and her teeth flash in a growl, her tail whipping through the air as she stalks into the camp.
Dogscar follows her, along with Brackenfur and Fireheart. Darkstripe is standing next to Graystripe, both of them clawed up and bleeding. Willowpelt doesn’t break stride, and all Dogscar sees is Darkstripe’s eyes widening as he takes a step back before she leaps.
“You tried to kill Sorrelkit!” she screeches. “My daughter! Your sister !”
“I tried to stop her! She ate them all on her own!” Darkstripe yelps, writhing under Willowpelt’s grip.
“No,” Willowpelt snarls. “You were always so in love with Tigerstar, Darkstripe, but I never thought you would go this far. I thought I knew you better than this. I raised you to be a loyal, a good warrior.”
“There’s nothing left in ThunderClan to be loyal to,” Darkstripe snarls.
Every cat in the camp is watching them now. Horror and disgust and fear mars the faces of the ThunderClan cats. Dogscar growls.
“A kittypet and a weak old she-cat leading a Clan of warriors?” Darkstripe spits. “It’s pathetic. The only cat worth following in the forest is Tigerstar.”
Willowpelt steps off of Darkstripe. “Go and follow him then. You’re no son of mine.”
“Good,” Darkstripe hisses as he climbs back to his paws. “She deserved it, anyway. Following me around, poking her nose into other cat’s business. Maybe now she’ll stay in the nursery where she belongs.”
Willowpelt flies at him, her jaws open wide in a feral scream. Her claws meet his shoulders and her teeth meet his throat, and they land on the ground in a tangle of grey and black.
When Willowpelt tears away, tears are streaming down her cheeks, and blood is dripping from her mouth. Darkstripe’s flanks are heaving, but he doesn’t stand up.
“I was going to let you leave ,” Willowpelt says. Her voice breaks on the last word. “If there was even a chance you could be good someday. But you nearly killed your own kin, a kit , and then you had the gall to say she deserved it.”
Darkstripe heaves a breath, stretches one paw out towards his mother. Willowpelt jerks away.
“There is nothing good left in your heart now, Darkstripe,” she whispers. “A cat who murders innocent kits is worse than Tigerstar. You will walk the Dark Forest forever, and if by some miracle StarClan lets you into their ranks, I will send you there myself when I die.”
Darkstripe’s reaching paw falls to the earth. Dogscar watches his eyes close as his flanks rise, and fall, and do not rise again.
“Goodbye, Darkstripe,” Willowpelt says. “May StarClan turn their backs on you. May you find rotting prey, twisted forests, and no safety when you sleep.”
The entire camp is silent. After a long moment, Willowpelt lifts her head and looks at them all.
“Hold a vigil over his body if you like. Or bury him. Or drag his body to ShadowClan territory to rot until his precious Tigerstar finds him. Whatever you’d like. I need to see my daughter.”
Goldenflower is the first to come forward, wrapping her tail around Willowpelt and whispering quietly in her ear as she guides her back toward the medicine den.
Fireheart clears his throat. “If...If any cat would like to say their goodbyes to Darkstripe, now would be the time.”
No cat moves. Longtail makes a sound like a cut-off growl and turns away. A few other cats walk away as well, and Fireheart pads into the middle of the circle of warriors.
“Would, um, would the elders please take Darkstripe’s body for burial, then,” the deputy says.
“Not on ThunderClan territory!” Speckletail yowls. A few other cats voice their dissent with her.
One-eye, Smallear, and Dappletail pad forward to Darkstripe’s body.
“Don’t worry,” Smallear says grimly. “He’ll be buried outside Clan territory with the other rogues and traitors.”
“We’ll dig a shallow grave,” Dappletail adds.
They pick up Darkstripe’s body with no more ceremony and carry him out of the camp. His tail and two of his paws drag in the dirt as they go.
Dogscar turns back to the medicine den, ducking inside. Willowpelt is still there, leaning against Goldenflower and staring down at Sorrelkit.
“I should...I should go make sure Rainkit and Sootkit are alright,” Willowpelt whispers, moving to stand.
“Willow, honey,” Goldenflower says softly. “You’re covered in blood.”
Willowpelt stops short and slumps. Goldenflower gently nudges her up and out of the medicine den, mumuring something about cleaning up and Sorrelkit and Cinderpelt watching her. Dogscar keeps his eyes on the ground as they pass him, then walks back to Sorrelkit.
She’s laying in his nest, probably because it was the closest one. And there’s plenty of moss and bracken to make another, but...Dogscar doesn’t. He lays down beside Sorrelkit, curled around her in the same way they’d slept together last night. Cinderpelt gives him a knowing look.
“What? She’s in my nest. Someone’s gotta look after her,” Dogscar says.
“If you say so.” Cinderpelt doesn’t even try to keep the little laugh out of her voice.
Dogscar gently moves Sorrelkit and himself so that his back is to Cinderpelt, just to make a point.
Sorrelkit is sleeping soundly against his belly, and he’s in the medicine den, and the whole thing is eerily similar to the last time Dogscar was stuck in the medicine den for days.
He was sick, then, with whitecough, and so was Mistlekit—she was so small then, barely old enough for fresh-kill. She’d curled up next to him just like this, a tiny, coughing kit who’s every breath rattled in her lungs. It was cold at night, even inside the den, and Swiftpaw remembers shivering slightly as he curled ever more tightly around Mistlekit.
He remembers her breath, sour on his cheek. He didn’t sleep all night. He was the only one awake when Mistlekit went still.
He was too afraid to move when it happened, and feigned sleep in the morning when she was discovered, when the medicine cat whispered over his head, when she was lifted gently from the nest. Later, Goldenflower had been the one to tell him that Mistlekit hadn’t made it. That StarClan had taken her into the stars.
But that’s not going to happen again. Dogscar looks down at Sorrelkit, healthy and fine and just asleep. She’s going to be alright. StarClan will not take her yet.
“You’re not going to die,” Dogscar whispers to her. He looks up, towards the top of the den that blocks his view of the sky. “You hear that, StarClan? She’s going to be fine. You’re not taking her today. Not on my watch.”
It’s stupid. Sorrelkit is fine, if she wasn’t they would have known by now. But Dogscar puts his head next to her muzzle anyway, curls his tail around her. Waits.
-0-0-0-
Sorrelkit wakes with a little cough that has Dogscar coiled tense in an instant. But all she does is blink sleepily up at him.
“Dogscar?” she asks, squinting. “Hi! What’s...what happened?”
Dogscar glances over his shoulder. Cinderpelt is staring at him, one paw raised as if she froze mid-step.
“What do you remember?” he asks carefully.
“I wanted to go on an adventure!” Sorrelkit tells him. “So I followed Darkstripe out of camp, and I saw him meet with this cat who smelled really weird, and then-“
“He met someone?” Dogscar interrupts. “Who?”
“I dunno.” Sorrelkit wrinkles her nose. “He was big and white and he had black paws.”
Dogscar looks back at Cinderpelt. He’s not up to date on Clan politics, but he’s pretty sure he remembers a ShadowClan cat called Blackfoot. White cat with black paws is hard to forget. So why was Darkstripe meeting with him?
Sorrelkit continues. “Anyway, Darkstripe found me after that, and he said since I was such a good stalker I could have a treat, and he showed me these berries! They made me feel really weird though, and I don’t...I don’t remember anything else. Am I in trouble? Did I do something bad?”
“No, no, of course not. You did just fine,” Dogscar says quickly.
“But I’m not s’posed to leave camp,” Sorrelkit protests.
“Well, I don’t think any cat is really worried about that right now, because you got pretty sick, and we were all worried about you. Especially your mama.”
“From the berries?” Sorrelkit’s eyes are huge.
“Yes, from the berries,” Cinderpelt says, finally walking around Dogscar to crouch in front of Sorrelkit. “Darkstripe did a very bad thing when he told you to eat them. They’re called deathberries, and if you eat one it could kill you. You were really lucky that Graystripe saw what happened, Sorrelkit. So I need you to promise me that you’ll never eat any strange plants again, unless a medicine cat tells you to. Okay?”
“O-Okay,” Sorrelkit whimpers. “Where’s my mama?”
“She went to take care of your brothers and make sure they were okay,” Dogscar says. “We can take you to her now, as long as you’re better. Do you feel okay now?”
Sorrelkit tips her head. “Yeah, I think so. Can I see Mama now?”
“Sure, honey,” Cinderpelt says, and Sorrelkit hops up to follow her out to the nursery.
Dogscar follows them, sitting in the entrance of the den. Willowpelt launches out of the nursery as soon as Cinderpelt calls out to her, and she wraps herself around her daughter. Cinderpelt whispers something and Willowpelt looks up at Dogscar. He flicks one ear back, ready for outright hostility to spread over her face, but Willowpelt just dips her head to him and gently herds Sorrelkit into the nursery.
“You do a good job with her,” Cinderpelt says as she walks back over.
“It’s a kit. Not that hard. And she was asleep most of the time anyway.”
“She’s not asleep when you play with her in the nursery. Or when she came to find you last night.” Cinderpelt grins.
Dogscar shakes his head. “Yeah, okay. So I’m not terrible with a kit. Good for me.”
“I meant what I said before about you being her mentor, if you can get back into shape in time,” Cinderpelt says. “And if you can learn to forgive yourself.”
She’s already walking towards the camp entrance as Dogscar whirls to follow her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Exactly what I said,” Cinderpelt tells him over her shoulder. “I was hoping you’d pull yourself out of it but, warriors . All the same. Too stubborn for your own good. Come on, we’re going for a walk, you’ve wallowed long enough. Tomorrow you’re moving back into the warriors den with Cloudtail and Brightpaw, so we have a lot to talk about before tonight.”
Dogscar glances over his shoulder at the camp, where Cloudtail and Brightpaw are talking with some other warriors. Brightpaw laughs at something, and like that, with her left side facing away from him, she looks almost the way she used to. And Dogscar is left behind in the same ruts he hauled her into that night, the ones she climbed right out of.
He sighs and follows Cinderpelt into the forest.